This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
