after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Randomize