Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
