The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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