New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
