He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Randomize
