so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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