Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize