I can text with my tongue
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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