Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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