I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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