Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
even my farts smell like vagina
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
a search helicopter?!
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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