the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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