Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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