White coat. Heels.
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
