I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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