You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
