Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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