i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
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he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
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