Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
