Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
