Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
