someone get that fucking seahorse.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
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