Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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