There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize