hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize