the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
accomplished twins. life is a go
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
