All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
only if we run a train.
done.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
