What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
