just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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