She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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