i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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