Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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