Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize