Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
