when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
