well you can't waste a boner
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
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