I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
