dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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