Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
