are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
