OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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