If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Randomize
