Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
