if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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