Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize