U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
