I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
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