All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
