Whatcha textin bout Willis?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
where does the pee come out of this thing
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
false alarm, still single
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
