It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
The struggles of a small town man whore
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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