Kiss
Puke
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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