Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
