that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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