I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
did i just pee glitter
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
