WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
