if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
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