trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
