..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
