well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize