Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
